{Almost} 4 year old hilarity

Some more funny moments with Scott.

The other day he was at a 9 out of 10 on the whiney scale.  I told him whatever he wanted at the time wasn't going to happen until he could stop whining.  So he started screaming and covering his mouth.  I asked what was wrong.

Scott: "I can't."  (said in a scream like he was in the most pain of his life)

Me:  "What? What's wrong?"

Scott: (both hands covering his mouth like he's trying to shove something back in)  "I can't stop the whining from coming out."

And  another day:

Scott: "Mom, when I turn 18 I'm going to go to another school called college.  Preschool college."

This is out of nowhere, no recent discussions about college, turning 18, etc.  Don't know who he's been hanging out with.

Scott:  "Hey dad, you want a cookie?  You deserve one."   -  HA, thanks bud!

And my favorite (debated posting this one but its really too funny not to, sorry future Scott, hope you don't need therapy from the embarrassment)

Me in the kitchen, Scott going to the bathroom (door open, duh!)

Scott:  (full yell) "Mom....I want a long penis."

Me:  stunned silence, I go to clarify

Scott:  (normal voice level) "Mom....I really want a long penis,  (my friend) has a long penis and I want one.  Can I have a long penis when I turn 5?"

Me: "Well buddy, as we grow older and get bigger all of body parts grow and get bigger too."

Scott: "Good.  I really want a long penis."

So incase you were wondering if the "size matters" business was media driven, its not, its absolutely 100% in male DNA.


Since I started this post a few weeks ago and have yet to finish it here are a few more:

Scott had noodles with peas mixed in for lunch the other day.  He ate all the noodles and left all the peas.  A few minutes later I came into the kitchen to find his bowl of peas full of juice.
Me: "Scott! Did you pour your juice into the bowl of peas?"
Scott: "No, it spilled."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Scott: "Yes."
Me: "Remember how important it is to tell the truth?  I hope you are telling the truth."
Scott: "Yep."


And yesterday when I had just taken a cake out of the oven and it was cooling on the counter.   Scott and I were in my room while I was getting dressed for dinner at mimi and papa's.  Scott disappeared for about two minutes then comes running back in my room:
Scott: "Mom!!! I ate the cake.  It was just an accident."
Me: "I think you are using the word accident wrong."

So I have been adding to this post little by little.  The "yesterday" referenced above is months ago now.  Most recently:
At karate and Scott's teacher is doing a game/drill where she is teaching them about what to do if someone bothers them and keeps hitting them or something (i.e. DO NOT HIT PEOPLE.)  So they were doing blocks and then learning to say "STOP" and then running away.  Maybe this isn't making that much sense…but not that important, you kind of have the idea now.  Its Scott's turn and she uses her pool noodle to swing at him like a weapon.
Scott: "I can really stop you with my ice."  Holds hands out and does a spraying/blasting sound (as all super heroes do in some for or another? duh!)
Teacher:  "But is that real or is that pretend."
Scott: "Its real, because I'm iceman."
…………
Teacher: "What would you do if you weren't iceman?"
Scott: stumped.  "But I am iceman."
Teacher: stumped.