Mommy Wars

I'm a bit of a blog-a-holic.  It probably started when Scott was born (a little after I started writing our little family blog as a way to keep in touch and journal our growing family) during the hours and hours of breastfeeding.  It was fun to pull up other people's blogs and read about people going through the first months of motherhood, just as I was, or escape from the booby and poopy talk for a few minutes and read about crafting, cooking, or fashion (non nursing bras, what are those?).  I read blogs of current friends, people I've sort of lost touch with over the years, and blogs of people I've never met in real life.  Its a fun way for me to decompress.  So if I read your blog, thank you for sharing, I always take away great things from what you say (and if you read mine and you have a blog then I definitely read yours!).

The other day I was reading a blog, not one of my regulars, and it was talking about toning down the holidays a notch.  Her point was great:  do we really need to make every stinkin' holiday into the biggest deal ever, probably not.  And we definitely don't need to be going out and spending heaps of money and buying gifts for our kids for everything from valentine's day to the 100th day of school (which I only knew was a thing because I had seen it on pinterest).  I see her point absolutely.  But the way she presented her point was just a touch nasty.  Maybe this is what she is known for, what makes her blog famous.  I don't know, I'm not a regular.  But to me it just seemed that she was snarking on the moms who do this stuff.

I don't think I'm one of those moms, but I do have my fun.  One year for valentines day we did heart shaped pancakes, not because I felt like I had to just because I had seen it on pinterest (and seriously Apple: pinterest is a word now, get on board, stop autocorrecting me to interest, sadly I think I type the word pinterest more than the word interest) but because I was in the mood and had a little extra time that day.  This year, we did not have heart shaped valentine's pancakes (well technically we did at school that day) because whoops, no time.  I did not feel like a bad mom.  My kids and husband did not feel unloved (at least I'm pretty sure, babe if you read this and really really need heart shaped pancakes every year on valentine's day we can, by all means, have that discussion).  When I do do the silly fun holiday things, we enjoy it.  Sometimes I probably enjoy it more than anyone else in my family, but thats ok too.  I do not pass judgement on those who do more or less than we do because, frankly, I don't care.

And if I do read your blog and you celebrate something fun (like the 100th day of school or Dr. Seuss's birthday) that we didn't, I love hearing about it and seeing your pictures.  Maybe we will celebrate it next year, maybe not.

My point is there is no reason to snark on the moms who stay home and have perfectly cleaned and decorated houses, and craft every day, and try a new pinterest inspired recipe every week, serve their children a beautiful spread of lucky charms, green eggs and green milk on st. patty's day, and have an entire pin board dedicated to elf on a shelf. (And just in case you weren't sure: this is not me, I was crossed of the list at numero uno: perfectly cleaned house. LOL.)  They don't make you or a me a worse mom.  I don't think that if I make heart shaped pancakes and we go out for valentine's day hot chocolate at starbucks that my children are going to be selfish and bratty and think they deserve special gifts and treats every day (something this blogger made a point of).  I think there are many other choices we make every day that determine our children's expectations of us.  There are plenty of ways to make special occasions fun without spending a lot of money, but if you want to hit up the dollar section at target this week for something new and different, more power to ya!  I think its important to do fun, out of the ordinary things with our kids every once in a while, we are makin' memories here people.  For your family it might be Dr. Seuss, for mine "International Donut Day" (because that's a thing and how fun is that??!!!)

Don't get me started on the other things moms are pitted against each other about.  Childbirth, vaccines, children's diets, parenting, cosleeping, breastfeeding, preschool style.  Its absolutely ridiculous.  At the end of the day I have never met anybody who has parented so differently than I do that we couldn't be friends, or frankly that it even made an impact on our friendship at all.  I think most of this mommy war business is played out in the media (can I tell you how much I am still loving not having cable?!?!  Loving.  I feel like I am hardly exposed to any of this parents trashing other parents malarky, let alone all the other depressing crap that's out there).  As parents it is our right and privilege to raise our children how we want and I think a blogger, or reporter, or whoever who is out there trashing other parents for having fun and being crafty, well they are just big fat meanies.

So happy National Ravioli Day (March 20th) and if you went all and made ravioli from scratch with your kids in your beautiful kitchen and anthropology inspired aprons, I hope you took amazing professional quality photos and will post them on your blog with a how to because that does not make me feel like a bad mom and I think you pictures are neat-o!  (Also, I looked up the Ravioli Day thing, see there is always something to celebrate if you want to!!)